Women drain me.
I'm totally generalising but it's still true. So do loud people. And aggressively loud women are total vexations to my soul. I've known this for a very long time. I've just never known why until recently. Please don't get me wrong now, men are also draining and of course loud. But in my experience, they just don't compare to women. As a result, I had made a conscious effort never to have any women friends in my life as I considered them the enemy. I would befriend males. That also has its pitfalls, by the way.

I've been reading a lot these past couple of months about how and why people give, receive and take energy from each other. It’s been interesting. Everything in life boils down to energy. We all seek positive energy or love. Some settle for negative energy because any energy is better than none or they feel that that is what they deserve. And if we want it, but can’t get it, we will certainly steal it. We are all guilty of stealing people’s energies and some do it more often than others. The
more social power you have, the more energy you can take. Nobody knows this better than a bully.

Players take energy from their lovers, but aren’t willing to give it. Then they wonder why they feel so lonely after a while. Some people will have sex with just about anybody to try fuel themselves. They then wonder why it is never enough. You see, the act of taking anything is negative.  Negativity as we all know is draining and when drained, we desperately try to refuel ourselves and so the cycle continues.

People take energy from other people in various ways: passive aggression, through intimidation and anger, manipulating people into doing what we don’t want to do, by being overly demanding, making others feel inadequate and my absolute pet peeve: chain chatting (Yes, think chain smoking and you pretty much get the picture). Chain chatting is speaking non-stop without actually listening to what other people are saying. A chain chatter, when not speaking, is looking for gaps to fill with their chitchat. What they say doesn’t make sense half the time if you actually do bother to listen. I cannot stand chain chatters and will avoid them at all costs as they are the most draining to me. People who talk a lot remind me of chain chatters, so I tend to withdraw even though they aren’t chain chatters.

They say the most influential role model is the same sex parent. It is also the gender that you spent the most time with growing up and for me that is women. Unfortunately they have contributed significantly to my fairly low self-esteem. Women were the ones who drained most of my energy as a child. I am not dissing them. I am just acknowledging the causes of my behavioral patterns and am trying to change them. Now that I’ve acknowledged these causes, I am slowly changing my behavior. I have made a conscious effort to connect with women. Positive women of like-mind, that is. And I am slowly mustering up the nerve to confront anyone who I feel is taking my energy. Life is short, people. Anyone who is not contributing positively to your life, has no business being in it to begin with. Sad, but true.